On my way

One thing is certain about having a baby, it hardens you up. Or at least, it hardened me. Not in the ways i expected mind you, but in ways that are useful not only for mothering, but for training, coaching, travel and life.

I sit at a busy coffee shop in Sao Paulo airport waiting for my flight to Florianopolis, drinking my second espresso of the morning and feeling, really, pretty darn good. My trip to Ironman Brazil started yesterday morning with the 9 o'clock ferry from Victoria to Vancouver, a bus to the airport and a flight to Chicago. I flew out of Chicago in the evening and arrived here in Sao Paulo at 10am local time. This is a trip i have done twice before and on both ocassions, i recall feeling dizzy from exhaustion at this point in the journey. But today is different. Last night on the plane I watched a movie and slept intermittently for 6 hours. I woke up at 8.30am local time (4.30am at home) and thought, that was pretty good. Now i feel ready to attack the day, get to my hotel, go for a little run and get settled. I am tougher.

Clint recommended that i write a blog before the race about my hopes and aspirations, as well as the challenges and worries that go with racing my first Ironman since Rosalee was born. I think this is a great idea, but struggle because i know it will make me accountable to my readers. I would rather wait, see how the race goes, and then blog about it. But I know from experience that how things look post-race and how they look now are two completely different things and that now is a perfect time to write something meaningful. It may take a couple posts to get everything out of my head and into cyberspace, but i will get started today.

So on the topic of feeling tougher. Many of the things i thought would be different after having a child are not different at all and many of the things that changed i never could have seen coming. For whatever reason (and i am not even sure of the reason), i feel better equipped to deal with day to day challenges without being thrown off course. So, for example, it used to be that if something went wrong during a race, i would have to talk myself back to reality. Like the time I punctured at Ironman Canada. I can still remember how my hands were shaking as i tried to change my tubular, how i couldnt help counting the pro women who went by me as i stood at the side of the road. This time, when i punctured in St. Croix, i stayed in the moment. I dealt with the issue at hand without worrying about the outcome of the race which was not in my control. This increased ability to problem solve comes very naturally to me now, even on a day to day basis, I seem to be able to roll with the punches so much that they are no longer punches, but just gentle pushes telling me which direction things are going. I no longer feel the need to control things all the time and feel much better equipped to deal with things head on as they come to me. Its like an increased ability to problem solve combined with a laissez faire attitude which allows me to be here, now and nowhere else.

I wonder if this is a common experience of new mothers? Interestingly, I never considered myself a control freak in the first place so i really had no idea it was something i needed to improve on. In fact, i think those who are closest to me will agree that i am really, quite relaxed. I had no aha moment and i certainly didnt try to change. How could i try to change something that I didnt think needed changing?

In terms of my hopes and aspirations? I want to race at the World Championships in Kona and improve on my 20th place from 2008. With the new qualifying rules for professional athletes this means that i have to gather points over a series of 5 races. My competitors have been gathering points since September 2010, when i was still 6months pregnant. So, qualifying this year is a big ask, but i am up for the challenge. At the race on Sunday i am primarily looking to collect some points towards this goal.

There, i said it. Anyone familiar with the ins and outs of the new qualifying system will know that my work is cut out for me. In some ways, many of the toughest decisions are already made in terms of which races i should do, what i can be prepared for and when. This leaves the thinking out of it, and allows me to get on with what has to be done. A task that, thanks to motherhood, i am well-equipped for.