When i was 19 years old I had a mentor called Francis. She was in her fifties, strong, independent and smart and I looked up to her. She was married to my Master's thesis supervisor and I frequently looked to Fran for advice in those angst-filled years between childhood and adulthood - when i was trying to figure out who i was and what my place might be. As the years went by I didnt see Fran as much, but whenever i had a problem, my friend Meghan would ask me, "What would Fran say?" And so, over time, I developed my own "internal Fran", a kind of mind coach who would help me get perspective when making a decision.
Everything i've learned from Bob so far has been somewhat natural and intuitive. He doesn't throw crazy ideas at me that i find hard to understand or put into practice. Likewise, this past week he showed me how to create and use a mind coach, much like my internal Fran of past years. Its been many years since i've called upon internal Fran for advice and now Bob has helped me create a new version of her.
The new Fran goes way beyond the old one, to whom i would look for advice on the big, important questions like "Should i break up with that guy or not?" The new Fran knows all about all my activities, hopes and goals and helps me to transition from one role to another. For example, when i finish a training session, Fran can say, "Triathlete-Sara, your turn is over. Mom-Sara, you're up." And thus, i can move quickly from athlete to mom helping me to be present in each moment and each role and not miss a thing in my own life. This brings us back to my first Bob-blog when i talked about the Buddhist principle of mindfulness and being present in each moment of one's life.
If you are a triathlete, imagine your last race. Remember coming out of the water, going through transition and getting on your bike? How long did it take you, once you were on the bike, to shed your swimmer and become a cyclist? Did it take awhile to get your legs working and in the groove? How much time do you think you would save if you could transition faster from swimmer to biker? If the moment you pushed the pedals you were ready to rock the bike? 6 seconds perhaps?
The mind coach that Bob encouraged me to create can speed up the transition process by saying "Step aside swim-Sara, its bike-Sara's turn." Likewise, in day to day life, the coach can just nod at whatever part of you needs to be in action and voila! you are in it and ready to tackle the next challenge. The place where i have used my new Fran most effectively is with sleep-Sara. At bedtime when i lie down i think, "Step aside everyone, its sleep-Sara's turn". Its amazing how such a simple concept can actually help me sleep with such great effect.
So here's what to do. Remember the 3rd perspective from a couple weeks ago? Create a mind-coach who can oversee all your activities and make sure that you are focused on the right thing at the right time. This will help ensure that you will meet your goals in all aspects of your life and also that you will enjoy each aspect more because you can be fully present in all roles at all times knowing that each aspect of your personality will have its time and its place in due course. Because the conductor is turning the notes into beautiful music!
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